‘God, the sun is so bright,’ I grumbled, shielding my eyes as I threw open the door of my office.
‘Famously, sir,’ my assistant, Gerald, muttered drolly. I shot him an annoyed glare, but he didn’t even truly bother to look apologetic. He was too good at his job – that gave him an irritating amount of security to speak back to me in a way that nobody else was allowed.
‘Organise something, please,’ I shot back at him.
‘Something, sir,’ Gerald frowned. ‘Like what? Shall I blot out the sun, or just the bit that hits your office of an afternoon?’
‘Some blinds would probably do it,’ I growled.
‘Perhaps I’ll look into some sort of commercial window tinting,’ Gerald muttered to himself, scratching a note onto his ever-present day planner.
‘Did I not just say blinds?’
‘Tinting is smarter,’ he replied bluntly. ‘Don’t be too disheartened, that’s why you have me.’
Resisting the urge to lob a stapler at his pointy, European head, I instead sat down behind my oaken desk.
‘Do you have the quarterlies that the department heads sent through?’ I asked with a beleaguered sigh, holding my hand out for him to pass them to me.
‘Maybe a decorative glass window? Melbourne, reimagined?’ Gerald murmured to himself, making a quick sketch in his planner.
‘Hello? Am I talking to myself?’ I growled again.
‘One moment,’ Gerald held up a finger to me. ‘Play with a spreadsheet or something.’
The world flashed a bright, vivid red, and I leapt to my feet with a snarl.
‘That’s it!’ I roared. ‘You’ve crossed the line for the last time!’
Gerald paused in his doodling to look up at me, raising a sceptical eyebrow.
‘Fifteen percent,’ he said, coolly.
‘What?’
‘My raise,’ he nodded. ‘In two days, when you call me back because you need me and you’ll pay anything to have me run your company for you – the price is fifteen percent. Have a good afternoon,’ he said with a nod, as he walked briskly out of the office.