I rubbed my sweaty palms together nervously, staring at the ominous hole in the wall.
‘Oh for crying out loud,’ my girlfriend rolled her eyes. ‘Michael, just call an electrician.’
‘I don’t need an electrician,’ I laughed, voice warbling more than I’d like. ‘I can do this. It’s a simple wiring job.’
‘Simple?’ she raised an eyebrow at me, disbelievingly.
‘Incredibly simple,’ I stressed. ‘Couldn’t be simpler!’
‘So you have all your tools then?’ she asked me, voice dripping with implication.
‘What does that mean?’
‘I was just wondering if you needed to find a hardware store in Cheltenham that sells electrical supplies?’
‘Cheltenham?’ I frowned. ‘Why would I go to Cheltenham?’
‘Why would you go to Hampton?!’ she threw her hands up.
‘Oh, this again,’ I scoffed, crossing my arms defensively. ‘I told you, I needed a very specific brand of electrical tape!’
‘Tape is tape, Michael,’ she glared at me. ‘Look, I don’t care if you don’t know how to fix an electrical outlet or build a patio or install a shelf – just stop pretending you do so we can bite the bullet and call a professional!’
‘I do know how to do all of those things,’ I mumbled weakly. ‘Watch, I’ll install this outlet right now.’
‘Let me just check what time the Hampton hardware store near me closes,’ she said sarcastically, pulling out her phone. My anger deepened, throbbing at the back of my eyes like a scarlet disco.
‘Fine!’ I said, slamming my toolbox down on the kitchen bench. ‘Call an electrician, pay too much money for a ten minute job! See if I care!’
‘Thank god,’ she pumped her fists triumphantly. With a smile, she strode forward and wrapped her arms around me. ‘Thank you. I really wasn’t looking forward to driving you to the hospital.’
Still grumpy, I softened into her embrace. ‘You really think I was about to hurt myself?’
‘Yes, Michael,’ she sighed, stepping back from me.
‘Why?’
‘For starters,’ she said, plucking something out of my toolbox. ‘You still bought the wrong tape.’