I shivered and quickly reached for the blanket I kept wrapped over the top of my sofa for exactly these weather emergencies – only to find my wife already swaddled in it, fixing me with an innocent grin.
‘Hey!’ I glowered, wrapping my arms around myself and cursing the cold I’d already exposed myself to. ‘That’s mine!’
‘I seem to remember some sort of vow that covered all of that,’ she said with a joking frown. ‘I think I was wearing white at the time… wait, was your mother there?’
‘Har, har,’ I said. ‘Look, I don’t see why we can’t just share the—’
‘No room,’ she said, shaking her head. ‘The only people allowed under the emergency blanket are the people who remembered to pay the gas bill when it was their turn. Now, I did it last month, which means this month…’
‘I spoke to them today,’ I grumbled. ‘They’ll fix it tomorrow. And just you watch – the moment we have gas heating, Canberra will be hit by forty degrees.’
‘Right,’ she nodded. ‘So it was a choice, then? Not paying. You were taking the local meteorological conditions into account?’
‘No,’ I sighed. ‘I just know how cruel the universe can be.’
‘Alright, Sylvia,’ she laughed. ‘Very dramatic. It’ll be good if it’s hot, anyway.’
‘Why?’
‘Well, for starters,’ she gestured at my still-shaking form. ‘It’d be nice not to have to wave you in front of the oven to thaw you out.’
I frowned at her. ‘You could always just give me the bla—’
‘And,’ she cut me off quickly, ‘when it’s hot, it’s much easier to find a company that does ducted heating repairs around Canberra. The simple-minded folks never want to think about heating when it’s hot.’
‘True,’ I frowned. ‘I suppose. So you agree, I did the right, helpful thing.’
‘Absolutely not,’ she shook her head. ‘Next time, pay the gas bill on time or I’m burning you for warmth. Now shush – I’m watching TV.’